“Fear is an idea-crippling, experience-crushing, success-stalling inhibitor, inflicted only by yourself.”

-Stephanie Melish

Have you ever feared riding a Ferris wheel? Was there someone who insisted on riding, and you accompanied them? Did you realize that the fear was baseless, and it is exhilarating to ride a Ferris wheel?

There are random fears in our life we think we are scared of, which are inhibiting us. More often than not, many fears are our imaginations with a negative connotation to them. Yes, some fears exist, but even they are a spin-off of the stories that our minds create as a mechanism to protect us from uncertainty.

We, humans, tend to stay within our comfort zones rather than venturing out into the unknown. And this unknown is what we call our fears. They are as abstract as feelings. You understand them better the moment you accept them as your own and start facing them.

Pull an Elon Musk

If you have to learn one thing from this space maestro, it is the art of failing successfully. Fear of failure is one of the biggest impediments to growth.

• Redefine what you mean by failure. A second position could be a failure to an ace student, while scoring 60% could be a success to someone else.
• Consider failure as a source of learning. When you go shopping, you pick dresses of two different sizes. The one that does not fit doesn’t mean you are fat; it simply means that it’s the other size that works for you.

Except failing to breathe, there is no failure that is the end of the world. Even our breaths can be restored by oxygen cylinders. So please take a deep breath and let it all go.

I cannot fly. I should just die.

We are moving towards offers that have broken the limits on everything, unlimited data, unlimited shopping, unlimited food. And we have so strongly absorbed this notion in every cell of our body that we feel even we should be limitless. We fail to understand that our fear of not being enough is a product of overthinking and dissecting every word that someone said.

• Read your old messages where people have appreciated you for the person you are, for your achievements. Maintain a diary where you can paste all the acknowledgments that people have sent your way.
• Do not force yourself to do something just to prove it to someone. If you cannot hike a 3-mile trail, let it be. It’s okay. You do not have to prove it to anyone. Accept that not everyone is a hiker, and it’s okay.

You do not need to have anyone’s validation for something you don’t even want to do. And least of all for things you are passionate about. 

And here is a funny fact; everyone feels like this at some point in time. SO if you are comparing yourself to the other person and rating yourself low, remind yourself that he/she may be feeling the same.

Straight roads lead to nowhere

Remember when you moved from the warmth of the hostel life to the tiresome work life? We all have feared changes in life, however small they have been. The roads of life will take a turn sooner or later. All we can do is be prepared to maneuver our life in the best possible way.

• Accept that driving a car around and experiencing the world is always better than just sitting around in your highly comfortable car.
• Remember that no matter what story you have created for yourself, there will always be characters who may bring about the change. Anticipate those changes and accept them.
• Avoid driving your life on autopilot when you can explore its gears. Driving on autopilot often causes people to sleep off on the wheel, which may cause accidents.

Understand that if nothing is changing, you will soon wilt away. A stagnant pond will harbor flies and bacterias, never flowers.

Are they gossiping about me?

Have you ever felt insecure when two of your friends met without informing you? The fear of being left out has often caused people to retreat in their shells.

Remember, it is a cause-and-effect process. If you retreat within your shell, you will end up being left out.

• Do not assume that you were left out intentionally. It could be possible that the meeting had nothing to do with you. Or who knows, they may be preparing for your surprise birthday party! If it affects you so much, try to have a conversation and sort it out rather than converting yourself into a storyteller.
• Try to be mindful of the signals you are sending out. It could be a possibility that the other person felt that you are allergic to liquor smell and so they didn’t ask you out for drinks. Pay attention to your behavior when someone tries to share something with you and whether you are welcoming or judging.

Tell yourself that it’s okay since it will give you space and time to do what you want to do rather than engaging in a boring meet-up.

If you fear being hurt, you tend to be away from relationships and end up calling yourself a loner, when in reality, you are a warm person who wants to share his life with someone who understands you.

Reframe your beliefs and perspectives. You may think you are afraid of something when in reality, you are just a push away to venture into your fear.

Often, more than our strengths, it is our fears that determine the course of our lives.

Do not give fear such a right to define your life. Face them, put them in the passenger seat along with your strengths. Let the strengths be your GPS and fears the warnings of a sharp turn or bad traffic, and have a nice long ride.

REFERENCES

• How to overcome your fear of failure by Susan Peppercorn: Harvard Business Review
• How to overcome the fear of not being good enough by Raven Ishak: Bustle
• 5 ways to overcome your fear of change: The Molly Flecther COmpany
• 5 ways to overcome your fear of change by Gustavo Razzetti: Psychology today
• Feeling left out by Crystal Raypole: Healthline
• The fear of being excluded by Dr. Margaret Paul: Inner Bonding

Plagiarism : 2%